Learning that Quagmire is going on a Cross "Cuntry" trip through all 50 states with the intent of having sex with a woman in every state, Brian and Stewie hitch a ride in his "Wanna-bang-o". Stewie is convinced that this man is his real father (he's really not proud of having Peter as a father) and resolves to travel to San Francisco to meet with him.
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Later, while watching television, Brian and Stewie see an interview with a San Francisco man who looks and sounds exactly like Stewie. Stewie laments to Brian his lonely existence in the world, and wishes that there were someone else to whom he could relate. The next morning, Stewie wakes up naked in his crib with a hangover, apparently having blacked out and given Roger Moore his phone number the night before. Peter loses his job and Tom regains his post. Knowing Stewie is Peter's son, Tom takes advantage of the situation and presents footage of the accident at the news station. Deciding to follow Brian's example of controlling anger through drunkenness, Stewie becomes an alcoholic Brian, seeking to cure Stewie, takes him out for a night of drinking at The Drunken Clam which culminates in Stewie ramming Brian's car through the wall of the bar. Brian finally goads Stewie into reverting to his old, violent ways, resurrecting Stewie's fear of Hell. Stewie's attempts at being a good boy mainly revolve around smothering Brian with affection, much to the latter's consternation. His jealousy causes for himself to get fired.
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Peter becomes extremely popular, overshadowing Tom Tucker and making him feel jealous. Meanwhile, Peter gets a job at Quahog 5 News, hosting a ranting segment known as What Really Grinds My Gears, in which he rants about things that bother him, such as Lindsay Lohan and the 19th century. Stewie is abruptly brought back to Earth, and he decides to change his ways. However, Stewie's detonator malfunctions, and he blows himself up and is crushed beneath the lifeguard chair. Feeling humiliated and wanting to kill his nemesis, Stewie rigs a lifeguard chair with dynamite and lures Brad beneath it by putting a piece of marzipan under it. He nearly drowns in the process, while Brad finishes in first place. Jealous, Stewie decides to try and outdo him in a swimming race.
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Encouraged by Peter and Lois to take swimming lessons, Stewie meets the star pupil of the class, Brad. The film opens at the Quahog Community Swimming Pool. Then, on a green background, we see a sex warning, then it cuts to the 20th Century Fox logo. On screen we see fictional trailers for fictional movies. It ends inside the theater, where Quagmire is making a bootleg recording of the film. Other guests included Drew Barrymore, the Kool-Aid Man and Cleveland. Meg comes out and reporter Tricia Takanawa asks her a question and before Meg can even respond, David Bowie arrives and Tricia's attention is drawn to him as she dry humps his leg and offers to make him fish ball soup. Lois falls out as she is extremely drunk because there was booze in the car and is followed by Peter, embarrassed beyond belief. Stewie comes out and describes his political career, which resembles Saddam Hussein's. Chris comes out and makes a joke that he was sitting backwards in the limo so his underwear was going the right way. Brian comes out of the limo and asks how everyone got in his bedroom. Eventually, the Griffin family arrives and each of them make a grand entrance, with the exceptions of Meg and Chris. The entire film begins with a news report involving the premiere of the actual film itself at the Quahog Performing Arts Center, where several characters have been invited. Plot synopsis Red carpet premiere and opening 4.4 Miscellaneous scenes cut from televised episodes.